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What to say if you bump into someone in McDonald's...

Morning! Turning the tables, here are my perfect, cut-out and keep 10 excuses Personal Trainers can use if they bump into a client in the golden arches... (There is something useful at the bottom too, so stick with it)

  1. You’re doing a Morgan Spurlock / Katie Hopkins (eww) and are on a crash weight gain diet, so you can empathise with your clients and “go on a journey together” to lose the spare tyre

  2. You’re just using the toilets, but you bought a Big Mac because of your middle-class guilt about using a venue’s toilets without buying anything

  3. You’re taking an Open University course on Sociology and conducting a study as part of it on the ‘Migratory habits of Millennials’… and you bought 20 McNuggets because of aforementioned middle-class guilt

  4. You saw another client of yours head in here and you dashed in to stop them making a terrible mistake, in the form of this here two Quarter Pounders with cheese, large fries and large strawberry milkshake

  5. You thought you saw a rat in there and went in to warn the diners and lay some humane traps

  6. You’ve collected more than 300,000 signatures on your petition ‘We believe there is crack in McDonalds' secret sauce and demand to know the recipe’ and were delivering it by hand

  7. “Is this not Holland and Barrett? How embarrassing! I was beginning to wonder where the Omega 3s were.”

  8. A hurricane must have picked you up from the park and deposited you there… in the queue… with your contactless card ready to scan. IT COULD HAPPEN.

  9. You just saw a crazy stalker client and came inside to hide… “Oh no no, it wasn’t you, Marianne!”

OR 10. You could just tell the truth: that McDonald’s creates supernaturally delicious food and actually, eating there once in a while won’t make you fat. Key 'takeaway' (lols): eating McDonald's doesn't make you fat. Eating too many McDonald's makes you fat, in the same way that eating too many cucumbers (unlikely, but go with me) would also make you fat... it would just be very difficult to eat that many cucumbers. Happy Friday! Have a great weekend! Matt "everything in moderation, including moderation" Boyles

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